Depression creeps up on you. If you are not having fun – don’t let time fly by!

The happy face that betrayed me. I was a "Smiling Depressive" -- among the worst of types due to how well you can hide your pain.

The happy face that betrayed me. I was a "Smiling Depressive" -- among the worst of types due to how well you can hide your pain.

BACKGROUND

Depression affects over 20 million people per year, or over 8% of the U.S. (defined as having at least 1 major depressive episode in the past year.) That is an unbelievable statistic in terms of it being almost 1 in 10 people. Out of the 44 million people a year affected by some mental illness, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, almost half the events involved depression.

I could cite further facts, but they are all pretty depressing in and of themselves. The idea behind this writing is to WATCH OUT for this disease, because it’s a tricky one. It may be triggered by a sad event, such as the loss of a loved one, or not. Onset generally will come between 30-40 years old, with a peak in the 50-60 year old group. Depression in teens is on the rise, also.

The real problem is it creeps up on you so slowly, you don’t ever immediately realize anything is really wrong. Only when it gets extreme do people tend to turn for help — and my point here is to pay attention to the symptoms listed below and ask about depression as soon as you sense your life is changing — so you can stop it before it gets a stranglehold on you. Before you know it, many years can fly by while you have been fighting a force you can’t beat alone. I was diagnosed as a “Smiling Depressive”, the worst type — because we put on such a good act nobody can see how badly we hurt. You can waste years of prime time struggling with depression, as I did — or you can be smart and act proactively, as I didn’t.

There was a moment I shall always remember that came on about my 35th day in the loony bin. It occurred upon realizing that I had suddenly broken out of a multi-year depression and it was triggered because I was walking to a meeting and I caught myself humming a tune — that’s all that happened. This can not sound very significant, I know, and while you may think I belong in the bin, let me assure you that this moment was an awakening like no other. It was not that I thought,  “Oh, I’m humming now, I must be happy”.  It was the fact that I had NOT hummed a tune to myself in 8 years and was only realizing it now, that was the revelation.

It stunned me, but at last I had a point of reference regarding exactly how sick and depressed I had become.  You see, I had always been a guy who had lived an incredibly wild and intensely colorful life –but one year things just took on shades of gray. Perhaps the most insidious aspect of the illness for me was how that gray darkened ever so slowly over the years so that I never felt any dramatic change as I slipped further down the rat-hole. This revelation, however, enabled me to have perfect perspective and for

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a moment allowed the whole world to make sense again. I mean, how many people do you know who can say they didn’t hum for 8 years? Probably not too many, because if you did know one, he likely wasn’t a barrel of laughs to be around and you dropped him off even the “casual friend” roster.

Here are some classic symptoms of depression

  • We often prefer to stay home rather than go out, be alone rather than share and talk. We push others away.
  • We become very self focused and sensitive, easily offended, and quick to snap.
  • As our relationships start to break down, we blame ourselves. We feel worthless, believing that no-one would want to be with us because we don’t want to be with ourselves. We push people away and then feel worse because we are alone.
  • It takes you a whole weekend to do chores that used to only occupy a morning.
  • You’ve really let yourself go – you’re wearing clothes that make you look dumpy, you’ve stopped exercising , you’re not shaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.
  • It affects the way you think, interfering with concentration and decision making.
  • You miss out on the sun, the moon, the stars, the sky, the universe, and cats & dogs.
  • You’re drinking or using drugs to escape the pain.
  • it affects your behavior, with increased irritability and loss of temper, social withdrawal, and a reduction in your desire to engage in pleasurable activities.
  • You lose things, you lose track of things and can’t always remember what day it is.
  • You’ve pretty much stopped eating, or caring what you eat and whether it tastes good.
  • On the flip side, you may be eating all the time because you’re bored and hope that food will somehow satisfy the vacant feeling you have.
  • Sleeping difficulties have started creeping in – either difficulty sleeping, erratic sleeping patterns or difficulty staying awake.

Hopefully now you won’t ever allow depression to get the better of you for long, and you can recognize that perhaps a neuro-chemical is simply out of balance in your brain and a doctor’s visit– to the dreaded shrink — might be in order. You may be pleasantly surprised at the net result by getting help in the form of a medication or two, and you’ll NOT allow precious “humming” time slip away.

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2 comments to Depression creeps up on you. If you are not having fun – don’t let time fly by!

  • Sherrlyn of http://www.BorkgrenPhoto.net says. . . This is all very nicely said. Sometimes it takes work and lots more of work to push oneself out there into the world of love and laughter. A good friend of mine got non chemical help through mindfreedom.org

  • No other description of depression that I’ve read has hit the nail on the head so perfectly for me. I always have a problem with the word “pain” in relation to depression…I never felt pain or numbness exactly – they just don’t describe that constant overwhelmed tension, like white noise or a the whine of a flatlining heart monitor. Other than that this site is amazing, congratulations for being able to step back and write this stuff. I’m shocked by how universal depression and it’s effects seem to be…

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