I never knew who Cory Haim was until I saw the A&E Special – The Two Coreys. It was themed on these two extreme once A-level teen stars, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. Feldman was married to a fairly normal and nice girl who couldn’t stand the fact that Corey Haim had moved into their house. Haim was a slob, the Feldman’s were neat. Haim had no respect for Feldman’s wife — he lived in the past and was stuck in the day when the two Coreys were best of friends. Haim treasured that time to such a degree he had a tattoo referring to the two Coreys.
"The Two Corey's" -- back in the day
Corey Haim more recently
Unfortunately in that show, even with the years of non-professional experience I have had running sober living houses and trying to help addicts, Haim had addict written all over him. Even after 15 rehabs, he did not seem to take drugs seriously. On a Larry King interview he termed himself an addict “who would be a relapser for the rest of his life”.
I have said many times in this blog that drug addiction is a disease that is as serious as cancer and is misunderstood (read ‘Addiction – it goes to the root of the brain’). Like cancer, if the victim does not choose to fight the disease, he will lose the battle to it. Nevertheless when you see a handsome, 38 year old young man die from drugs — especially a guy who had absolutely everything going for him at one point — it stuns and hurts you. There is a side of you that just does not want to believe it.
After having worked in the field for a number of years, I have several messages that come out of this. First, I believe that 80% to 100% of addicts
have primary axis mood disorders, and I was acutely aware during the show “The Two Coreys” just how anxious and unsettled Corey Haim seemed to be. He was always shifting around in his seat and was clearly never at ease. That could have been an underlying depression that had anxiety side effects — but if you watched him carefully he never had a sense of inner peace. He had problems with impulse control, fighting with his old friend and wife, and this is indicative of restlessness at another level. Drugs would be the one thing that by self-medicating undoubtedly helped calm him down, given that the anxiety (if I am correct) was not treated. I read somewhere that Haim was taking up to 75 valiums a day — and that is indicative of SERIOUS anxiety at a deep level. It is a shame that nobody to my knowledge explained dual diagnosis to Corey. Had he understood it, he would have known that the drug use was making the mood disorder worse, and visa-versa. The two problems tend to ratchet each other to even more serious levels.
I don’t know his medical history, but my message here is if he was an addict with untreated mood disorders, he never had a chance. For anybody reading this — if you know an addict that is chronically relapsing over and over and over again, likely something else is wrong. An addict with mood disorders that go untreated will relapse until he likely dies, in my opinion. I am not blaming Corey for what happened. It was not lack of willpower — but more likely it was lack of knowledge and lack of good handling and proper medical attention. ANYBODY who ever hears an addict say he will be a chronic relapser for life, is hearing talk from a very sick person who has no idea how serious his disease is. Don’t let a statement like that slip by you.
If this piece sounds critical it is not meant to be, it is meant to enlighten readers. As inevitable as I felt it may have been in the coming, I am always shocked and saddened when something as tragic as this actually happens. My heart goes out to his family and friends, and especially to his undoubtedly heartbroken friend Corey Feldman. “The Two Coreys” are now one forever.
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Parents must bury their son -- the saddest aspect of it all
I think that this is the most insightful article that I have read about the death of Corey Haim.
Those who are unfamiliar with mental illness have no idea the length people will go to make themselves feel better. I have watched my mother go through it for years.
True, she does not take 85 valium to make it go away, but it is clearly no coincidence that the vast majority of people who abuse drugs have emotional disorders.
I have no doubt that Corey Haim had an anxiety disorder. The specifics…I do not know. But when a 12 year old is drinking beer on the set of a hit film…it rarely has anything to do with fitting in or looking cool. Most likely, there was some feeling he wanted to numb out.
The majority of actors tend to be incredibly artistic people. The classically creative person, is a genious in certain aspects, celebrated for their masterpiece…a book, a painting, a movie, etc. Despite all this, they are not able to keep their room clean or pay the bills.
They tend to be emotionally intelligent, sensitive people who can “feel” everything. When one “feels” much more than those around them, they begin to panic, because they are alone. They are very aware of the fact that they experience the world from a different lense. Not to mention, their everyday lives are constantly distracted by their own emotions.
Corey’s issues had so many layers. I am actually pleased at his decision to decline celebrity rehab. I believe that so much of his fame was about drug use…or getting over his drug use. He filmed his hit movies while drinking beer, smoking pot, and snorting coke. He was programed to remember that fame was achieved alongside drugs. People loved him while he was using. Or was it that he was using while people loved him? The mind of an addict has no ability to untangle the two.
If he had done the show, I believe he would have connected rehab with fame…if he succeeded… how would he get people to like him? What if he was healthy, boring and no longer interesting or marketable?
Corey Haim’s acting made an impact on my life. Lucas was a ridiculously accurate account of high school, social status, popularity, and the desire to be loved.
Unrequited love. I believe that’s what ultimately killed Corey. The fame he earned in his youth was never recaptured. A hole left in his heart. Child actors are not fully developed human beings…their brains are still growing. His first hit came at the age of 13. It would make sense that his entire identity was wrapped up in the desire to regain that love from Hollywood and the public.
I believe both his successes and failures should be publicized. Perhaps his life can help others who struggle with similar issues.
Endnote: It’s interesting…I’m used to writing papers with proper grammar rules. Usually, you refer to someone by their last name after mentioning them in an article. I didn’t want to. I called him Corey, not Haim. He was that talented…he was a three demensional actor. In his best roles, he could make you feel something. Something you didn’t want to let go of…he was not afraid to be vulnerable on screen. And that’s why we connected with him.